Bideford pub crawl: Part 1

Bideford pub crawl or a normal every weekend night out:  Part 1.

A new series of articles about nightlife in Bideford – watch out for Parts 2 and 3 coming soon…..

Getting ready:

When I can be bothered I put on my best jeans and a decent top but that’s as far as it goes. Bideford is not a place associated with fine attire or anything that shows any effort. However there are certain members of our social circle that fail to recognise this and insist on donning their finest designer garments for relatively low-level drinking operations. The remainder of the group dress down so you don’t look like the odd-bod in town.

So, I meet my mate, or mates, depending on who feels like taking a night off from watching low life TV. We may have a few beers before we go out just to have a chat in a sober mood and talk about what’s happened throughout the week. Generally in the summer a BBQ is the ideal situation before mounting an all out assault on the town. Nearer the winter you find yourself drinking earlier, either because it’s so dark all the time and you feel the need to drink from sheer boredom or more than likely both. It saves us a bit of money as we don’t have to pay for any drinks at pub prices yet. On some occasions I have experienced not saving money though. Say perhaps one of your cheap skate mates decides not to chip in and pay for any food or drink. Instead they decide to save up for a house they plan to buy in the future, this according to them is acceptable (as if none of us are in the same position). Eventually your mate finishes doing his hair; there’s always someone who takes ages and we leave the confines of someone’s abode. Let’s get on it! is a key phrase to suggest to one that you would like to partake in trying a wide selection of alcoholic beverages thus performing the smashed technique.

The pub crawl begins:

In Bideford we aim straight for the quieter pubs that tend to sell a very select variety of beers and, hopefully, cheaper than the average pint or double vodka you will be paying for later. Choosing the first pub may take a bit more planning than is perceived as the first pub will map out the route of the night. Occasionally we will choose to frequent a few drinking establishments in a more traditional guise which tends to take us away from the main town of Bideford and towards villages such as Instow and Appledore.

A friendly game of pool can be a good way to kick things off. I say can because sometimes people can become too competitive even though you’re in the company of friends. They may decide to cheat and play their own rules which haven’t been in existence for at least a few decades. So even though you know they’re not really achieving anything you know if they win you’ll be reminded a couple of times throughout the night. So you really don’t want to give them the satisfaction. This will take the enjoyment out of the game and sometimes I’d rather not play at all. Sometimes there is scope for a few tunes on the juke box to get us in the mood. The number of people there are within the group will alter the conversation immensely. If, for instance, there are two, maybe three of you, you will talk about more home-related topics such as when you are leaving your under paid depressing job or how your family is doing. This can sometimes make the night more useful as well as getting tanked up. On the other hand there could be a group of you, say five and your talk becomes more broad, perhaps football, but mostly people will want to have a bit of banter which translates as extracting the ‘ urine’ out of somebody. This banter is affected by how well you know the person or group you are with. I personally prefer to take the mick, so I like to get some abuse in while the night is early. Nothing too offensive; I try not to be completely horrible and usually I can think of something tasteful.

We’re rolling:

We have a few drinks and move on to a busier pub than we’ve been in previously. The price of a pint may be slightly more but it was closer than the other pub on the other side of town. We’re feeling the night now and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves but we are still waiting, worrying the rest of the night could so easily turn into a drunken nightmare at someone’s expense. The beer is still flowing and it seems to be going down a treat so far. If you’re all drinking pints we can move more swiftly on to each pub as we all finish roughly at the same. If for some reason you have a wine drinker  with you it can be awkward, but as long as most of you are drinking pints and we leave on our call you simply don’t give a monkeys. Drinking with just one mate is easy to keep tabs on because you’re not likely to stitch each other up. But when there’s a  group of you ,there is usually a guaranteed lightweight. This is the person who says he can drink like a fish and perhaps already had a bottle of wine before he came out, so that  when he’s drunk ,and we’re not that will be his excuse. There is the  person who decides to go on shorts early , so when you’ve  drunk half a pint they have finished ,and decide to moan about how slowly you’re drinking. Another classic scenario is someone drinking a bottle of weak lager or ale and slamming it on the table when they’ve finished, while we’re halfway through our 5.2% beer…………….

Paul Johnson and Davey Snead.